Reality Check
by K81
Summary: Kate's survived a bunch of anger-management needing orcs , some rather sexist talking trees and a pervy former white wizard. A battle to decide to the fate of Minas Tirith is nooooothing ! Right ?
1. Something Strange

It was a perfectly normal day in the high-tech powered city of Kanata , Ontario . The sun was shining , the birds were uh... cheeping , and I had just fallen out of bed. Good job . I struggled to look around my room . My chocolate brown eyes focused on the laminate that hurts when you fall on it , endtable with phone , CD player , squashy bed , mirror closet doors and the nice big glass French........ "HOLY SHINTE!!! "  
  
"Oh my god , ohmygod, ohmygod . There is a BOY in my room. What happened last night? I'm only 14 ! I'm too young to get pregnant! Ohmygod , my parents will tear me limb from limb and feed me to the neighbour's dogs," I worried.   
  
"Please no. I am having a bad dream and I will wake up in 5 seconds , since I just realized I am in a dream . 5 , 4, 3, 2, 1 . I'm awake . There is no boy in my room . It was a bad dream. Oh god , I'm still on the floor opposite a boy with.... hairy feet and very strange pants. In fact all of him is starting to creep me out. OK. Think reasonably. I have been drugged and kidnapped or something . Or date raped. I'm too young to get pregnant! My life is over! "  
  
The rather well....short boy with well... hairy feet peered down at me , then looked questioningly at his best friend who by the way was standing in the hall.   
  
"Merry? What's wrong with her ? "   
  
  
"For YOUR information big foot boy , there is something wrong with YOU. You are the one standing in a girl's bedroom at 7 A.M.  
I don't even know you , " I ranted. " This is not an ideal day to wake up with a boy in my bleeding room. I have to go to school. I have to finish my homework cause it's due today. If Merry and Pippin dropped out of the sky from LOTR which will never happen , I couldn't be happier . But YOU ! You.....you....MIDGET , " I screeched as I shoved Pippin from my room.  
  
" Merry she's scaring me. How does she know our names ? "  
  
"I dunno Pip. All I know right now is that I think she is hostile and we should probably leave , " the older one commented.   
  
" Listen here you rapists ! You have made a elabourate plan to make me believe you are Merry and Pippin so you can kidnap me . That's it ! See Kate, a perfectly scientific reason why two short , curly haired , furry footed guys are in your room at 7 in the morning of a school day." And with that it hit me. Even in these scientific days , this was ironic.   
Before I fainted , I managed to say : " I ...love ....you...guys..." 


	2. Bubbles and Blue Light

Merry stared in shock. "What did you do now ?" he said.   
"Nothing I swear it ! I was only going to ask where we were then she started screeching at me ! Anyways it's not like I killed her . She's only unconscious, I think . All we have to do is find a nearby stream and splash some water on her . " Pippin retorted.  
  
" And where in wherever we are , are we going to find a stream. Did you think of that ? Gandalf told us NOT to touch the crystal on the end of his staff . But no , you simply had to see it. At the EXACT moment I was trying to pull you away from it ! "  
  
"Excuse me Merry , you dared me to , you liar !"  
  
Thankfully I came back to the waking world and took control of the situation very quickly. Unfortunately , my mom was getting up. I could hear her cross the bedroom floor and walk into the bathroom.   
  
"Listen you guys , I love you and all but could you squeeze into my closet for a few minutes ?" I pleaded .   
" Do we know you?" Merry glared.   
"You do now . Into my closet you go . "   
  
And with that I shoved them into my closet , closed the doors , and stood outside them in an innocent pose. My mom entered the room.   
"Hi hon , what do you want for breakfast ? " she inquired.   
"Toast and jam please , " a muffled voice called out.   
"Umm yes toast with jam and umm umm orange juice !" I nearly shouted. My mother gave me one of those strange looks that pratically seemed to say " Teenagers....."  
  
My mom left and I was able to open the closet doors . The hobbits fell out.   
"Ok , that was close. I want to stay in the closet until I figure something out alright ? Now I'm going to take a bath so don't disturb me . Don't go downstairs or outside or out of my room . Good." I instructed and strode into the bathroom.The bathroom was my place of relaxation and destressing.   
  
I began filling up the bath with nice body wash that smelled like mango/peach. The Body Shop was a great store. "Aaaaaah " I sighed as I slid into the bubbles. I began to think about what to do . I could keep them in my room, maybe Gandalf would bring them back . Or turn them into the homeless shelter because I still wasn't sure they were who they claimed they were. That can wait , I told myself , until after my bath . I buried myself even deeper into the bubbles. " Foamy !" I giggled.  
  
At that moment of blissfull bubbleness , Pippin came skidding into the bathroom with Merry in tow .   
" You pervs ! You are rapists ! I know self defense! I beat my instructor ! " I screeched as I climbed out of the tub . I was on a homicidal rampage now. I didn't care if they were from LOTR , they had interrupted MY bath. Whilst my hands enclosed Pippin's throat , a glaring blue light filled the bathroom. 


	3. Note

Note : I'm painfully shy and I don't know what the heck was going through my head when I wrote this. I've already written 50+ chapters and there's no sign of stopping.... 


	4. Elves and Angst

I was falling and couldn't stop . The glaring blue light blinded me. Then I landed HARD . On what was obviously not laminate . It was cold and pointy. I knew four things .   
1) I was cold   
2) I was not lying on laminate flooring  
3)I was blind  
4) I wasn't in Kansas anymore, Toto  
  
"Are you alright?" a somewhat familiar voice called to me.   
"Fine , if you count being freezing cold and blind , you rapists! " I snapped.   
  
Someone's calloused hand touched me lightly on my shoulder. My sight was returning . I could see lil blobs of black looking down at me . I sat up and was able to kinda distinguish features. I peered around trying to figure out where the rapists had taken me . "Where in the bloody neighbourhood am I ? " I moaned . I stood up and looked intently at the shape across from me .  
  
Then I noticed they were all staring intently back at me . I was stark naked. "This is not happening . Oh ground swallow me. This isn't happening ! " I wailed. The shape across from me came into the rather dim light filtering in from the ceiling .  
  
I scanned his features , dark hair , grey eyes and rather elongated pointy ears. He took off his long green cloak and gave it to me. "Thanks . You're an elf right ? My friends say I look like one but then again people say Vicky looks like a fairy and man you should see her hair . Wild! Anyways , I've always wanted pointy ears. I think I know you ! You're Legolas Greenleaf !" The only reason I knew this is because my psycho friend Vicky made me read The Fellowship of the Ring up to the point where they're at Rivendell and at the little council thingy.   
  
The elf stared at me in suprise. My eyes flickered around the group. " Gimli , Aragorn , Boromir , Gandalf , Merry and Pippin I already know , Sam and ... " my sight rested upon a pair of haunted shockingly blue eyes , that made your heart break to look at them, " Frodo."  
  
"What is she? An elf witch? " Gimli questioned.   
"Excuse me !? A witch ?! Watch it pal ! (here I advanced and poked him in the chest) I have been sucked out of my home , into Middle Earth , into the Fellowship , NAKED" I screamed.   
  
Gandalf had to forcibly pull me away before I wakened every orc in the vicinity."Don't you touch me ! " I hissed. And then I slapped him . Don't kill me . I was on the edge. Wouldn't you freak if you were naked in front of the Fellowship ? Besides , I was still convinced they were rapists. Anyways , the Fellowship was aghast. Nobody hit Gandalf . Ever. But Gandalf being the wise wizard that he was didn't retaliate ( lucky for me) . He did what he did best , work magic. Within a few seconds and a couple of whispered words , I was out cold , again.  
  
Sam was nervous ( as was his nature) . "I don't trust her."   
"She may of help yet Master Samwise " Gandalf concluded sagely. Merry and Pippin winked at each other knowing what havoc they could wreck on me. Gimli and Legolas just stared at the limp body laid out on the tomb of Balin. Boromir snorted lightly   
" Women......"  
  
And of course everyone knows what happens next. Gandalf picks up that book from the dead feller , reads it and freaks out the Fellowship. Pippin decides to poke the dead dude by the well , and it falls in , causing quite a ruckus , rousing the orcs. Boromir bars the gates repeating the same mistake the dwarves made. Unlike the dwarves they fight their way out and make for the bridge of Khazad-Dum. Of course adding the fact that I was slung over Boromir's shoulder. They reach Dwarrowdwelf blah blah blah ,skip a bit,  
ah , here we go.   
  
I chose to wake up at the worst possible moment. Just before crossing the Bridge of Khazad Dum. I was and still am petrified of heights. I screamed and kicked and tried to struggle away . " I am not crossing that !!! Put me down ! "  
"As you wish , " said Boromir .   
"No no no don't leave me !!!!"   
But Boromir was already half way across the bridge. I hate to say it but I whimpered . Heat was starting to burn my back . I didn't want to turn around for fear of what was there.   
  
Being a curious and stupid human , I turned around. I immediatly wished I hadn't . I was faced with a 50+ foot monster that had wings, spewed ash and breathed fire. It was one of those choices : cross bridge or be burned to death by a flaming monster . It wasn't every day this happened. You can guess what one I chose. I semi- crawled/ran to about half way across the bridge. I couldn't see Gandalf on the other side . So I turned to look behind me which , again I regretted. There was the big flaming monster also called a Balrog , falling down a collapsed side of the bridge . Gandalf began to walk away but a whip curled around his ankle and dragged him to the edge. I couldn't move . I just stared . I had never seen anyone die before. Sure I had known the guy for a couple of hours , but he hadn't hit me back , and that was really nice of him. Normally I would've said something dirty about the whip, but now was not the time nor the place to do so. I turned away.  
  
I couldn't feel myself running across the rest of the bridge. I couldn't hear Frodo's cries of absolute grief , I couldn't hear arrows whizzing past my head , I just ran and ran and ran wanting to get away to the point of light that marked the exit. I came out into the blinding light and it made me cry even more. I kept running to a remote flat rock where I stopped and sat down . I wanted to go home, I wanted to go to school, I wanted to do the stupid English test I had that day.I didn't want to be there. Aragorn was trying to get them up. I wanted to hit him . What the hell was wrong with him? Sure orcs would swarm the hills by nightfall but still. Heartless creep. I hoped they would leave me . I was going to mess everything up. 


	5. Good Times sorta

A small hand reached for mine. "Come on , " a gentle voice encouraged me . I got up robotically . I hadn't felt this sad since, since .... never. I didn't even look who had taken my hand until a few minutes later. I regained my senses and looked down. It was Pippin with tears running down his face . I hate seeing anybody cry . It makes me all angry and sad and *sigh* guilty. Poor guy. It was somewhat disturbing considering I am 14 and he's 29 . Oh well , I was taller than him . One of those times I wished I had Kleenex with me .   
  
"Merry , would you have a hankerchief ? " I inquired .  
Merry dug around in his pack and finally emerged with one in hand. "Thank you. "   
I stopped walking for a bit and handed him it.  
"Everything will be fine. Everyone will be ok. Please stop crying , please. Your going to make me start ! "   
  
This seemed to have an effect , Pippin cracked a small smile. I was so happy I couldve been made to dance a jig while wearing leprechaun boots around Middle Earth and I wouldn't have cared. Go warm fuzzy feelings !  
  
Nothing much to say except I walked all day , my feet were bleeding , and I was really hungry. Near evening we stopped to eat which was a good thing . Aragorn fixed Sam who was hurt by an orc sword . Ouch . Used some stuff that smelled like the L'Interdit perfume sample I had at home. Didn't want to even look at my feet worrying I would throw up if I did. I inched closer to the fire , considering I was still kinda nude under that cloak thingy. I've always liked watching fires . Looks like little sprites dancing madly around it.   
  
I was snapped out of my Zen state by someone pouring a burning liquid on my cut feet.   
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I hopped around trying to alternate my feet.   
"What the hell did you do that for !? Jeez , burns almost as bad as the evil green soap at our school. " I whined.   
" Your feet will become infected if I don't put it on " Aragorn pointed out.   
"SO?? I have no shoes ! It will happen again."  
  
" Also , I have no clothes. Nada . Zero . Zilch . Nil. Currently I am freezing. All I want right now is to sleep. "   
  
Legolas tapped me on my shoulder and handed me a pair of leggings and a shirt that was about 100x too large for me.   
"Thank you, now if y'all don't mind , i'd like some privacy please."   
The Fellowship being modest men er , elves and hobbits ,and uh dwarf, turned away. There was some technical difficulty with the leggings considering they were the elvish equivalent of Spandex. While I was trying to yank them on , I slipped backwards with an "Oof , bloody hell ."   
  
The Fellowship sniggered." Oh graceful little maiden are you done yet?" teased Boromir.   
"Shut up Gondor man , and the rest of you too." I managed to get the leggings on but nearly drowned in the shirt .   
" Jeez you must have picked this shirt off an oliphaunt or something."'  
  
Everyone laughed and the colour rose in Boromir's face.   
"Oh sorry , I didn't know it was yours," I said.   
  
Everyone laughed even harder and ended up on the ground , except for Boromir who had a rather confused look on. Aragorn was howling with laughter , which I don't think is really good behavior for Isildur' s heir. 


	6. Lothlorien

*** Thank you reviewers , I didn't expect people to actually read this! Thank you so much !!!****  
  
It was already night , and the stars were clear. I spent the next three hours craning my neck to the sky trying to see constellations I might recognize. We had gone a mile into the forest when we sat down by a small waterfall and Legolas began to sing of one of those pretty elf maidens .   
  
Jeez , I don't see what all the fuss is about , they're pretty , they fall in love, it ends in tragedy , they die. Despite that it nearly lulled me off to sleep . We had to get up again and walk some more .   
  
Legolas had the bright idea of climbing a tree to sleep but was yelled at by stupid blonde elves. I wasn't paying much attention I guess, I was still trying to figure out if the stars to the east were Orion. I looked around but everyone was gone .   
  
This was not good. I figured I should stay put , they'd come back to look for me. I hoped.  
  
I kept seeing pale luminous eyes flickering around me . In the bushes , behind a tree , crawling toward me...   
  
" GO AWAY!" I screeched.  
  
The eyes went away . I had one of those feelings like someone was watching you.You know like when your in the shower and you think the Psycho is coming to get you but it's only your mom with towels? Actually , ever mind , bad example. I heard something crashing through the forest . It was the one of the blonde elves . He snatched me up and ran until nearly crashing into one of the monotonous trees.  
  
"That wasn't dignified for an elf , " I commented.   
  
"Rope!" he hissed.   
  
"I can't climb trees," I told him.  
  
" Climb or die."  
  
With an order like that I climbed, though not with out trouble . I nearly fell 3 times , and I ripped the cloak. A strong hand pulled me up and onto a platform . I was shaking like I had been stuck in a freezer for hours. The Fellowship was asleep save for Frodo , Haldir (as I found out that was his name) and myself.  
  
"What was that? " I whispered. Just then I happened to peer down one side of the platform the elves call a flet. I recoiled , mutilated things ever more terrifying in the moonlight had just passed underneath. But I wondered where the glowing eyes came from.   
  
"Orcs and something else , little maiden . Sleep. It is not your conscern," Haldir replied.  
  
I curled up really close to the tree trunk, (I'm still scared of heights remember?) and fell asleep.  
  
I was awakened by someone nudging me in the ribs.  
  
" Uuuuuuuughhh Mom , five more minutes please ," I murmured , my eyes not open yet.   
  
"Good morning to you too, little maiden ," Boromir laughed. I tried to swat him away like I do to my friends at sleepovers.   
  
"What's wrong with you ?Jeez it's too early!"  
  
"We're leaving now."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"No , Yuletide!" Boromir laughed again.  
  
I got myself up. It's not pleasant sleeping in your clothes. We walked all the way back to the waterfall , and to another river with everybody else. I was grumpy for hours.   
  
"I don't want to cross it. I'm already cold. I'm hungry. " I whined.  
  
"I agree with her there , " nodded Pippin.   
  
"Be quiet, they're tying ropes across so we can cross without drowning ," scolded Merry.  
  
Two ropes were strung across the river .  
  
I was almost there when my damp feet slipped and I fell into the water. It was a good thing I could swim , but it took everything I had to get to the bank.   
  
I pulled myself out of water and spat water into Boromir's face. "So there !" I stated.   
  
There was one of those awkward moments of silence . Legolas commenced laughing , as did Gimli , Aragorn , Merry,and Pippin . Sam looked nervous as usual , and a bit sick, probably due to the water . Frodo had his customary sad expression on , but a smile twitched across his lips .   
  
Boromir plainly stated , "Little maiden has obviously drank sour milk."   
  
The elves flashed annoyed looks at me. Then Gimli had to be blindfolded , then Aragorn had to go and say the Company would too.  
  
"Ha! I'm not part of the company! I don't have to blindfolded!" I laughed.   
  
"You are now ," Aragorn said rather gravely. Great , I was to destroy a RING in hell.  
  
Before I could reply someone had slipped a blindfold across my eyes. "Hey! That wasn't funny!"  
  
Nothing of importance really happened until evening.I couldn't see anything , but that's not the point. Our blindfolds were removed and I was in a place of absolute beauty. Cerin Amroth. Little star shaped flowers sprang up in grass. I have a fetish for flowers and seeing a whole field of them made me really happy . "Flowers!" I giggled and ran among the grass , laughing. I may be 13 but I hadn't lost my 4 year old instinct. I sat myself down and started making flower crowns. I could've stayed there forever but it wasn't allowed. I gave Boromir my second flower crown and I gave my third to Aragorn. It certainly looked funny. Two great grown men with gold flowers in their hair and swords at their sides. Aragorn gave his back to me , but Boromir kept his on.   
  
We sooned entered Caras Galadhon and walked along the empty road. I couldn't see anybody but I could hear voices . Reeaaaaaaaaaalllllllllly creepy. We were brought to the base of a great tree and climbed many stairs to the a platform at the top. So what if my legs were really tired ? Everything was so beautiful , I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or both. All I know is when I met the Lady Galadriel I had a really stupid big smile on. I probably looked like I was high. My bubble was burst though. Her blue eyes froze me and seemed to pierce my thoughts.   
  
***You do not belong here , yet Gandalf seemed to think it was a blessing. Your heart is true, your love and loyalty great. There will come a time when you will need those gifts very much. I can send you back to your home , no harm will come to you or others.***  
  
Images flashed in my mind of my room , my friends laughing and smiling , the garden , my books , the forests. It hurt. Horribly . I had to leave. I remained in some sorta daze , where everything wasn't real , and my body wasn't my own. The council ended but I wasn't aware of it .   
  
It took Boromir , Pippin and Merry several minutes to bring me back to reality. I climbed down the stairs again and lay down under the Pavilion the elves had set up. I studied the swirly shapes on the fabric trying to figure out where it started and ended again. I was oblivious to the conversation of the Fellowship.  
  
"Little maiden , what did she say to you ? "  
  
"Nothing of importance, " I snapped.   
  
"Something wrong?" inquired Pippin nervously.  
  
"I don't belong here , she said."  
  
"Where do you belong then little maiden? " said Boromir.   
  
"I don't know. "   
  
Pippin nodded sympathetically." I didn't like the Elf Lady either." 


	7. The River

The days passed one after the other in one long hallucinatory dream.Until one day we had to leave. I had been in Middle Earth for a month. One morning we left . Galadriel gave to us gifts , elven cloaks ( I gave Legolas back his) , new clothes for me ( a dress unfortunately) , a leaf brooch , and stuff called lembas .  
Which , in my opinion tasted like those wafer cookies you get from the grocery store.  
  
I was in Boromir's boat. I longed for but loathed the idea of leaving. There was peace here unlike the busy streets of Kanata.The water of the Anduin was so clean and clear I wanted to go swimming. I settled for dipping my hands in it.   
  
Near dusk , Boromir spoke the first words he had spoken to me all day.   
"We have been traveling together for a month , what is your name?"  
I grinned."Little Maiden".   
Boromir nodded slowly. There was something wrong with Boromir . His eyes were shifty , he didn't speak or laugh much anymore.  
"Boromir , is something wrong? "   
"No , nothing."  
"Alright. I'm just worried." There would be time to pry out what was bothering him later.  
  
We landed on the bank at night. A fire was roaring in no time.Everyone was in a good mood. Legolas was telling the story of how he was practicing and shot himself in the foot. The Fellowship laughed . All except Boromir who was sitting on the edge of the firelight . I went over and asked him what was wrong.   
  
"Nothing. Go away." I was taken aback , I always thought Boromir was nicer.   
"Please Boromir tell me what's wrong."  
"Go away . You're annoying me ." By this time we had the attention of everybody.  
Fire burned in his eyes and I took a step back.   
"Boromir , why are you so angry?"  
"Go AWAY , you stupid child."  
"It's The Ring isn't it?"  
At this he stood up and slapped me. Fire burned over my face. He strode away into the trees. I was left standing there , with the Fellowship looking at me with pity and sympathy. I wasn't going to cry , I was't going to let him win.  
"Men do rash things." Legolas whispered to me.  
  
  
I didn't feel like being with anybody at that moment . Stupid git. Didn't his mother ever tell him never to hit women?   
The shore seemed like the best place to sit and I watched the rushes lazily waving in the wind. I could hear footsteps behind me and Pippin sat down beside me.   
"I've ....*sniffle* never ...been...hit..before."   
"No one should be."  
"I was only trying to help."   
Pippin laughed."You wouldn't believe the number of times I was paddled for 'trying to help' when I was small."  
"I wouldn't doubt it. People are always yelling at me because I was only trying to help. Which doesn't seem to do much. Just annoy people to no end."  
"Why don't you come back to the fire? I was going to tell everybody about Merry dressing up like a girl to fool Frodo into thinking into he was one of the S.Bs . I suppose you wouldn't know them , but the less said the better."  
I shook my head. "I'll stay here thanks."  
  
I was just starting to fall asleep when I spied the pale luminous eyes again. A soft hissing noise came from the rushes. I scrambled back.   
  
"My prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrciousssssss" it hissed.  
  
This was officially freaking me out now. I ran at top speed to where the rest of the Fellowship were sleeping.   
  
"Guys wake up ! Wake up! " I shouted.   
Aragorn lept up , "What is it little maiden? "  
"Something...hissing at me on shore. Am scared. Can stay here? " I gasped . Aragorn ran down to the shore , not saying anything to me.   
  
I spied Legolas with his eyes open , and unmoving. I shook Merry by his shoulders ."The elf died! I think he's dead , " I said , panicked. Merry squinted and replied , " All elves sleep like that , they can walk and sleep at the same time."   
  
I now officially felt like an idiot. "Now if you don't mind , I'd like to rest , " he grumbled. Thank you very much. Remind me not to come to you if I have nightmares. I really didn't want to be on the outside edge of the circle of sleeping figures. I crawled to the still burning ashes of the fire and laid down beside it. I fell asleep right away. 


	8. Cloudy Night

The next two days passed much like the one before it. In the east, brown lifeless hills rolled away.Utter monotony. On the east bank there was green plains , and forests of rushes waving in the breeze. I couldn't see a living thing except for birds , and once in a while a beautiful black swan would sail into the sky. I pulled the elvish cloak tighter around me. I hate cloudy , grey days. I was supposed to be in front of the fireplace , reading and sipping hot chocolate. But nooooooooooo , I had to be in a boat in miserable weather.  
  
Aragorn was on another ramble about the dangers of orcs patrolling the shores , but I paid no attention. They weren't going to get me. That's for sure, I told myself.   
  
The night came and I slept not knowing of what had passed in the night. Gollum was following us . The eighth day of our journey finally came after 7 days of depressing scenery. Certainly was eventful , to say the least . Was nearly shot by a couple of Orc arrows. Heard a horrible screeching noise like nails on a blackboard from the eastern shore . A huge bird like creature flew over us. Legolas nocked an arrow and there was a harsh croaking scream as it vanished into the gloom. Ugh , yucky.   
  
We slept in the boats which was NOT comfortable. And somewhat awkward considering I was still in Boromir's boat. He still hasn't apologized. Stupid git , won't talk to him until he apologizes. The 9th day came , and fog coated everything . I couldn't see in front of me . The fog faded later in the morning .   
  
Had to haul boats.. er........ rather everyone else did. There are good things about being a girl .Followed portage-path until we reached Iittle pool that flowed back into the river. It was starting to rain , and everybody was depressed. Hey I don't blame them, especially since at that time my dress was sticking to my body. Which presented a disturbed sight. I still had leggings and the shirt . I told myself I'd put them on the next morning if I wasn't dead of hypothermia.   
  
Was woken up early again by Merry.  
"Bugger off , give me a few moments to change ok?" I snarled.  
  
I slung my cloak across a low hanging branch which acted sorta like a screen . I pulled on the shirt and leggings , which felt much warmer than my clingy dress. I pulled the cloak back on and shoved the dress back into the tiny pack which Galadriel had given me (and I neglected to mention). I looked at my hair which was now matted and greasy.   
  
"Do you want to cut it? " Aragorn asked almost sneaking up behind me. Twitching in suprise I whirled around.  
"Oh gosh , I dunno , it's my hair , but ok."  
Aragorn grabbed my hair and with one quick slice of his knife , I had the Middle Earth equivalent of a fringe cut.   
"OH GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE???" I yelled.   
"There's no time to wonder , get in the boat ."  
  
I got in the boat and immeditely the teasing began. " Little Maiden , or Little Warrior ? " Legolas laughed.  
"You look like one of the village lads , " commented Merry.  
"You're a lass right ? " asked Pippin.  
Sam disapproved , " It isn't right..."  
I blushed (which is something I don't do much) and shrank deeper into the boat. It's a good thing we set out straight away or else it would' ve continued all day.   
  
The rain slowed , and the clouds disappeared. The channel grew narrow and as my eyes focused on gray shapes ahead. I realized they were statues. "Behold the Argonath , the Pillars of the Kings!" cried Aragorn. Two great sculptures rose before me. With blurred eyes and deep brows they frowned upon the North. Each left hand held out their hand in warning with an axe in the right. Great power and majesty they still had , and I adverted my gaze to avoid looking up.   
  
We had reached the Gates. Black water swirled around the boats and made me nervous about falling in. Sam had it worse though , I thought he was going to be sick. The chasm was long and dark , but soon shot us into the lake Nen Hithoel. There was a silver beauty combined with the mist , to create a fairy realm. Night was already arriving and we landed at Parth Galen with its green lawn . 


	9. Breaking

I was too tired to care about dinner , which I regretted the next morning. The sun rose in a blaze of firey glory. This certainly put me in a better mood. I like the sun. Sam had made breakfast which consisted of lembas and bacon. Kinda disgusting actually.   
  
Climbed a tree and watched Frodo walk underneath it. Waited for next unlucky person to drop the rock on which I had in my hand. It was my lucky day , Boromir walked under it. "Bombs away ! " I whispered. *thunk* Boromir looked up rubbing his head but continued walking after Frodo. This worried me. Something was wrong. Two things to be exact.   
a) He had an abnormally thick skull.  
b) He was trailing Frodo.  
  
I went back to the shore . "You guys notice Frodo is gone ? " I asked. As if from a sign , everyone turned to look where Frodo had been sitting. Merry , Pippin , and Sam ran off with me in tow. "Frodo! Frodo!" they called.We ran and ran for what seemed like hours but was more like minutes. We crashed through underbrush , I felt lucky that I had cut my hair. Sam was separated but I figured he'd be ok , he was a resourceful hobbit from what I could tell.   
  
We continued calling until we nearly skidded into a group of orcs.I had seen them before though , in Lothlorien , in the eerie moonlight. " RETREAT!!!" I cried.I scanned the seemingly impassable wall of orcs. I looked frantically for a break in the colliding armies. I spotted a weakness, my parents always said I was good at checkers. I motioned with my hands. Our only chance was going through the space between the orcs coming from the east and west that were nearly colliding in hast to get to us. We broke through just in time and ran as fast as our legs could carry us. Pine needles , leaves, twigs passed in a blur beneath my bare feet. Primal fear was in me. Run run run run run run run was all I could think. My entire body seemed to tingle and I thought my heart would burst out of my chest at any moment.   
  
I tripped and went sprawling on the leaf covered ground.The adrenaline left my body. An orc was over me with a malicious smile plastered on his face and raising its sword covered with dried blood , he began to bring it down in a brown blur ... when suddenly somebody crashed into it.   
  
It was Boromir . "Run." He commanded. I stared. "Run!" he cried shoving me away .   
  
I spied an orc, a big one with a dog face, nock an arrow. Instantly a mixed feeling of hopelessness and anger filled me.   
  
I had no time to react , an arrow slammed into Boromir. I screamed, as he got back up and kept fighting . A second punctured him , I was still screaming his name . I didn't know what to do . I wanted to help but I couldn't fight. I hadn't been trained to. He got back up. "Lay down you idiot ! Stop!" I cried with tears running down my face. He turned to look at me , and in his brown eyes knew he was sorry. I sank to my knees and screamed to the blue sky.   
  
Merry and Pippin drew their daggers and lept forward with war cries as the last arrow sank into his chest."For the Shire!" I crawled toward him and caught him as he fell."Oh God , oh God, oh God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry ! " I sobbed hysterically. "Little Maiden ...." he smiled , blood coating his lips.Golden sunlight filtered through the trees , drawing to attention the gore glistening on his leather tunic.   
  
My heart felt like it was being split in two . "I'm sorry , oh God, oh God, oh God, I'm sorry , " I buried my head in his shoulder. Grief seemed to settle over me like a cold mist but anger flamed within. I laid him gently down and drew the little leaf bladed knife I had carried from Lothlorien.  
  
The green and red jewels sparkled like devil fire telling me to take revenge. I pulled the knife from its sheath with defiance. I whirled around and stabbed an orc that would have broken his neck.   
  
I stood over him until a circle of orcs closed in around me . I couldn't fight . I couldn't escape now. "I HATE YOU ! I HATE YOU!" I cried as the circle closed even tighter.The horrible faces seemed to blur together. I spat at them in one last final act. One of the orcs raised a cruelly shining sword and it looked like it was going to kill me. I closed my eyes ready for the final blow , I didn't care anymore. So this is it , this is death, I thought. Something slammed into the back of my head. And I knew no more.   
  
The orcs laughed as they looked at the fallen warrior breathing shallowly and the fighting rat lying limp on the brown bare earth. 


	10. Hell On Middle Earth

I was swimming back to consciousness. Which now that I think of it, reminds me of a song.* Swimming , swimming in my swimming pool. Breast stroke , side stroke, fancy diving too ....*   
  
Anyways , I sure as hell wasn't thinking that . It was more of : Ow my head , ow my back , ow my arms , ow my legs. Oooh pretty stars. I didn't open my eyes for fear of what was there . If I had been taken by Orcs , I'd never forgive myself. Ever. I opened my eyes slowly and took in my surroundings.  
  
I was captured by Orcs. Death by humiliation. I figured if I played unconscious they'd leave me alone. But as turned on my side , a gasp escaped my throat.  
  
"So, your awake little rat, " a particularly hideous orc snarled. I gave him one of my ice cold glares I give to my friends when I'm mad at them.The orc laughed and went away back to the campfire that was a few metres away from me. To calm myself , I tried to figure out what I knew .   
a) My wrists , legs , and ankles were tied  
b) I had a splitting headache  
c) I still had my pack  
d) I was hungry  
e) I had a pulled muscle in my chest or something  
g) 2+2=4  
This altogether was not a pleasant combination. I scolded myself for not thinking of others. Was any one else taken? I glanced to the left of me and Pippin was staring back, green eyes full of fear. I listened around me . An argument was going on .This would've been the perfect time to escape except that I was tied up. Haha , pardon the pun.  
  
"No! I heard that one of them has got something , something that's wanted for the War , some elvish plot or other. Anyways they'll both be questioned ," a growling voice said. "The rat , what's she wanted for ?" questioned another.   
  
"Saruman wants a new plaything." Raucous laughter filled my ears. I turned back to look at Pippin who looked more scared then before. While doing this, I missed a bit of the conversation."The prisoners are not to be searched or plundered: those are my orders." I was hoping I was included in that remark or else I was in a lot of shinte. I decided not listen anymore. I was picked up and slung over someone's shoulder. Feeling sick and tired were what I was experiancing at that moment. My headache swallowed me whole.   
  
I woke when someone shook me violently. "Get up, " a voice hissed and kicked me right where I thought I had pulled a muscle. I screamed in pain. There was a grating vibration in my lungs and something told me one of my ribs was broken. I was mad. If it wasn't bad enough being restrained , I couldn't fight back. I managed to hiss something , " Whatever happened to no spoiling ? "  
One of the orcs yanked me up by my hair. This was obviously not the time to be sarcastic. "That , doesn't mean you." More raucous laughter. Then whoever was grabbing my hair dropped me.   
  
I lay on the ground my breath coming in gasps .I watched the big- leader -ugly- butt pull Pippin up in the same way. He fell down and was yanked up again. "You bastards, " I hissed. Hating orcs was my new hobby.   
  
I thought of a million curses that I could scream at them, namely : Whoa , you must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.   
  
I happened to glance at Merry who looked really bad. Kinda of a grey tone really. The B.L.U.B as I'll call him, kicked Merry and ripped off the bandage on his head. Managing to look wasn't something I couldn't do. But after a few moments I heard Merry's cheerful voice :   
  
"Hullo Pippin! So you've come on this little expedition, too ? Where do we get bed and breakfast? " I couldn't help but laugh.Then began laughing hysterically. Which hurt, I was laughing and crying at the same time. I was kicked and pushed to my weak legs. I felt like Bambi when he's skidding all over the ice , which is the best part of the movie. I didn't care anymore. I was happy.Which reminds me of another song... A big grin spread over my face.  
  
* Always look on the briiiight side of life , do do dodo do do , Always look on the briiiiiight side of life , do do dodo do do, If life seems jolly rotten , there's summit you've forgotten , And that's to laugh smile and dance and sing. If yer feeling in the dumps , doooon't be silly chumps , just purse your lips and whistle that's the thing! Always...*   
  
Whistling the tune I descended into the mist that lay before me. 


	11. Escape

I was in back of Pippin. I saw him twitch nervously and look around. He swerved aside to the right , and dived out of the line , sprawling on the grass.   
  
"Run Pippin RUN!!!" I cried á la Forrest Gump.  
  
You know that scene where Forrest is being chased by some kids with rocks and his friend is yelling at him to run? And the braces on his legs smash and fall off? Except in this case Pippin did not have weak limbs and the kids with rocks were actually Uruks with nasty jagged swords. And I was not wearing a little blue printed flower dress , but a shirt that was a billion times too big for me and elvish Spandex.  
  
He sprang up and ran but I could see misty shadows that would stop him. He stopped and fiddled with something on his cloak . Not the Lorien pin , I moaned in my mind. A whip hit his ankles and he stifled a cry. The B.L.U.B ran and turned to face Pippin. Words were spoken , but I couldn't hear them. All the while the orc was staring fiercely at me. I don't know why but I was made to run. I figured I wasn't going to be able to keep up consciousness much longer . I was falling apart faster than PB and J sandwich made with too much jam.   
  
Asthma was kicking in. Wheezing started , and my throat seemed like it was squished. My breath came in short gasps , and Merry craned his neck to look at what was happening. Some the orcs gazed nervously. I collapsed from lack of air.   
  
"I ..*gasp* hate..*wheeze* ...you , " I grinned. "Your ..*gasp*..going to be in a lot of shinte...*gasp* with Saruman."   
  
I was probably blue by this time adding to my fake death scene. I laughed to myself and tried to keep my mouth from twitching into a smile. That was when B.L.U.B bent over me , and I spat in his face. The timing couldn't be more perfect. I laughed then passed out. Sweet revenge.  
  
I woke the next day , at least I thought it was. By the sun it was afternoon. I was suprised I was alive, when I had an asthma attack my mom always took me to the Emergency Room. I sat up , realizing my hands were untied . HAHA! Beware orcs , 00K8 is loose ! Something that looked somewhat like food was flung beside me. Ew.   
  
Bread and some nameless crap that looked like meat. Ok , maybe bread , I was really hungry. I lay down and gazed at the clouds while eating. That was something I liked about Middle Earth , if something bad happened there was always a sight to cheer you up.  
  
I slipped into one of my Zen states until it seemed like red and black stars exploded across my vision. I had been hit , but where ? Ah , my chest. I scared my friends when I was hurt because I was too calm. Then pain hit again. I curled up into a ball , because it was a defensive position , at least to those Tai Kwon Do people on TV.Those orcs were definetely in need of anger management My broken rib grinded against my lung in protest but I got up. I kicked the unlucky orc where it hurt."Anyone else care to try that?" And then sat down and commenced cloud gazing again.   
  
I must have drifted off to sleep because when I woke it was night again. My arms were tied. The orcs were all in a fuss about something. 'The Whiteskins' were waiting for the sun to attack. I hoped those guys were friendly .  
  
" Spectacular , spectacular , the words are so venacular. Can't describe this great event , you'll be dumb with wonderment."   
While I was busy humming the tune to ' Spectacular Spectacular' from Moulin Rouge , something was creeping up behind me.  
  
A hairy hand was clapped over my mouth and I was dragged away from the campfire , into the shadows. In less than 30 seconds the hideous thing was on top of me. Oh jeez was it trying to rape me ? By the sound it was making I assumed so. I was frantically trying to remember what the self defense guy had taught us.   
  
You see, in Grade 9 we were forced to take a self-defense program with a sadistic maniac called Brian who got his kicks beating up the girls gym class. I don't like people hurting me and when Brian pulled my hair , I launched myself at him. We fought for a while and then I climbed on his back and pummeled him like crazy. And this guy was a supposed " Judo-Master". Yes , and I'm George W. Bush.   
  
Anyways , all you need to know is I got the damn thing off with minimal damage and killed by stomping on its head. Good for me , blood was dripping down my neck . Wonderful. I crawled even deeper into the darkness and laid still hoping the orcs wouldn't see me. Minutes like hours passed but I decided to keep moving .   
  
There was a forest ahead and my eyes focused on two small figures sitting together EATING. Eating , I ask you. No search party or botched rescue even. "Hi guys," I said. 


	12. The Mountain Stream

"Sooooooo , you idiots , how did you get away? " I asked annoyed.   
  
Who wouldn't be , I mean they were eating!  
  
" Well , there was this ugly fellow and he dragged us off somewhere and started looking for the Ring, but we didn't have it as you know , so I pretended I did have but then the orc got shot by an arrow, " Pippin said.   
  
" I was dragged off and an orc rather like your ugly fellow tried to rape me. I managed to kill him and crawl here. " I stated.  
  
"Really? Good show . Your hands are tied , I hope you know , " Merry pointed out. He's a poet and he doesn't even know it....  
  
I rolled my eyes , " No Merry , I didn't realize that. Of course I know my hands are tied! Now help me out here!"  
  
"Are you alright ? "   
  
" No ! I'm starving , I'm dirty , I'm tired , I have a broken rib and I think something cracked my skull. Anyways , how bout you guys ?"  
  
" Oh not too badly thank you , " Merry said cheerfully , pulling a dirty bandage off and revealing a nasty slice just above his eyebrow.   
  
" Yeah , not bad .... Pippin , you alright ?"  
  
"Just frightened out of my wits , thank you ."   
  
" Right , well if you don't mind , I'd really like to get these ropes off of my wrists . And have a bit of whatever your eating. I'm hungry ."  
  
At this Pippin took my wrists and began fiddling with the ropes . " Almost ..there... ah ! Their off ," he stated.  
  
"Thank you very much ." I pulled my pack off and looked for something I could use for keeping my broken rib still. The elvish dress. Man that thing annoyed me . I ripped off the wide hem and wrapped it around my chest. A hiss of pain came out while I was tying a knot . I rummaged through the pack for something I could eat. Ah , the wafer cookie things. There's a first time for everything , I told myself. They were addictive , I'll tell you that , it was like warm sunshine just filled my body. Maybe they were spiked.  
  
"I wonder where Legolas and Aragorn are? Nevermind , should we go into the forest or back out there ? "  
  
"The forest seems better to me,all the same, than turning back into the middle of a battle."  
  
" I agree, let's go."   
  
At that moment I heard the blast of a great horn . Dawn tinted the approaching raiding party's swords and spears red. We entered the forest quickly. I didn't feel like breaking another rib , thanks.   
  
We pressed on with as much speed as possible. Everything was close together and the air felt like it was too thin. Lichen and moss dripped from trees , trailing on the ground. A aura of slow decay enveloped me. A stream was close.   
I sighed , "If you don't mind , I'd like to take a dip by myself , if you know what I mean."   
  
The hobbits nodded . I ran for the stream , I didn't think I could stand being dirty much longer. I wanted to wash away the smell and feel of the orcs. I was almost there, I was sliding down the bank. Straight into the freezing water.   
  
The mountain stream stung the various cuts and scratches on me. Shaking, I pulled off the shirt Boromir gave me. I decided to keep the elvish dress/bandage on for two reasons.  
a) It would hurt if I took it off  
b) I didn't want to be butt naked in a stream with two (male!) hobbits nearby  
  
I looked mournfully at Boromir's shirt tossed over a rock. For some reason not explained a lump built in my throat. I sank beneath the pure water , my feathery hair floating around my head in a halo. Angel , me ? Yeah right. That was a good one. I still had the leggings on , which were clinging to me. And once again creating a disturbed sight. Elves were strange twisted creatures I concluded. I surfaced and lay down on a rock. Merry and Pippin were on the other side, dipping their feet in the water.  
  
"You can jump in now you know . I'm done , " I pointed out. They both blushed at the exactly same time. It was the creepiest thing I had ever seen.   
  
I waded over to their side of the stream , picked up the shirt and climbed out . Suddenly the sun came out and what had seemed decayed before glowed with life. Smooth leather like bark showed through , and shiny hunter green leaves.  
  
"Hullo! " said Merry. "The sun must have run into a cloud while we've been under these trees, and now she has run out again ; or else she has climbed high enough to look down through some opening . It isn't far- let's go and investigate ! "  
  
Obviously I missed something. I just followed them up a very steep hill which led us straight to a stony wall. Which for some reason, was shaped like a stair. The steps were steep and seemed to be made for someone bigger than me. I reached the top first , with the hobbits struggling behind because they were shorter, obviously.   
  
" Good job , I'm now very cranky and my legs hurt. We climbed all this way for nothing?"   
  
Merry and Pippin sat down and leaned against a stump looking out onto the forest. They were talking quietly so I couldn't hear them.  
  
"Heeellooooooooo , I'm here too you know ." I only caught the end of the conversation :   
  
"... in the sunlight. I almost felt I liked the place ." said Pippin.  
  
Something strode by me and picked them up. It was a tree , at least I thought it was. I'm losing it , I thought , I've finally cracked. The tree uh...thing turned around and I was looking at the most extraordinary face. The tree was 15 + feet high , and covered with a brown smooth skin. The eyes were the crowning glory , it was like looking in infinity. It's hard to describe. It made a sound like a baritone clarinet . Ah , what band can teach you.  
  
I scrambled backwards , as the tree advanced . " Aah , aah , aah ......aah. " The tree thing picked me up with one free hand. I still made the little half screams , "Aah , aaah , aah."   
Then the tree began to TALK.   
  
"Very odd indeed! Do not be hasty , that is my motto . But if had seen you before I heard your voices : they reminded me of something I cannot remember - ........."   
This was too much for me , a talking tree. I'd gone crazy , nuts , off my rocker , I fainted.   
  
" This one is certainly hasty , " the tree commented. 


	13. My First Drink ofSomething

*** THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! It made my day and the hours ( yes , hours ) I've spent on this worthwhile ! Luv ya ! ***  
  
Disclaimer ( since I really should write one of these ) : I do not own anything Tolkein , except for Kate. End of Story  
  
  
The day was ending and dusk twined about the edges of the trees. I think I had spent more time passing out and being asleep in Middle Earth than awake. We were entering a hall. Not a stone - wood kind of hall , but a tree hall. It may have been just me but it seemed like the trees lifted their branches for us to come through. The great trees towered above me. A rock wall was cut back into some sort of bay. A spring danced down the rock to make a shining water curtain. Oooooooh pretty.  
  
"Hm ! Here we are ! " said whatever-it-was.   
  
"I have brought you about seventy-thousand ent strides what that comes to in measurement in your land , I do not know ."   
  
" Excuse me , " I spoke up , " where am I and who or what are you? "   
  
If trees could glare I'm sure this one could. I shut up . He continued with his rather long winded speech , while walking over to a large stone table. He ( I think) pulled out several very large stone jars and put his hands over them.   
  
They began to glow , one a gold colour , the other a with a rich green light. If you could catch summer in a forest that was it. He filled one big bowl with the summer-in-a-bottle and three smaller ones. I was seated on a table where I dangled my legs and sipped the liquid sunshine. It was very much like water, but with a hint of pine needles and fall leaves.   
  
Maybe it was spiked because it seemed that my body was growing , stretching and my hair starting to curl. I still didn't know what the drink was , but I'd always wanted curly hair.   
  
People always say never to put your drink down at a party but here I was drinking a substance I didn't know the name of. Oh what I wouldn't give for a nice tall glass of full bodied OJ ( also known as orange juice). I sat daydreaming about the orange sweet juice that made everything sticky and everyone happy. I tried to pay attention , but the daydream of food was calling to me. Apple pie, ice cream, cookies , danishes , croissantes , chicken noodle soup , spaghetti , pizza , the list went on and on. I was lost in the fantasy of me eating all that glorious food. I was cruelly sucked back to reality when I heard the name Saruman.   
  
"But Saruman now ! Saruman is a neighbour : I cannot overlook him. I must do something , I suppose . I have often wondered lately what I should do about Saruman," the tree said.  
  
" Hey , I've heard that name before! He's the guy who wanted me as a plaything , or something ."   
  
Merry and Pippin blushed until they were two shades darker than a tomato. The tree-man fixed me with his gaze. I began to get nervous and shut up. One thing I had learned from the orcs. Blurting out things will result in something nasty. The tree continued.  
  
I found out that Saruman was a wizard , was very powerful and had cut down many trees. This angered me , I threw fits when trees were cut down to make new houses in the suburbs.   
  
" I will stop it! ," the tree boomed. "And you will come with me."   
  
"Yes ! Yes! I'll help , I'll help ! Let's get those tree killers! " I piped up.  
  
" Oh , terribly sorry , Treebeard, " Merry said . " This is our hasty friend Little Maiden."  
  
"Little Maiden? That certainly is an odd name ."   
  
"Actually , Boromir named her that because no one knew her proper one."   
  
Treebeard's eyes seemed to be extra inquisitive , but he continued. The plan was to attack Isengard. Simple enough I thought , how big could Isengard be if it was a ruled by a wizard that wore a dress? So did Gandalf , but that's not the point.   
  
Treebeard ranted on about how he was becoming too hot and how he should cool down outside in the rain. Whatever. He went outside for a while then came back in. It was then I learned of the Entwives.   
  
" Entwives?!! Jeez you're not only slow, you're discriminatory too ! " I screeched.   
  
A glare from everybody silenced me . For the time being. Well the Ents had (what Treebeard is) Entwives but they got in a spat about which was a better place to live. The Entwives left .   
  
" You go girls !!! Sexist bastards...."  
  
Once again everyone glared. I was half asleep , my head was overflowing with information. I was poked awake by Pippin who gestured to the 'bed' , which was composed of grass and fern which actually smelt quite nice. How long had it been since I had slept in my own bed ? This may be the last chance , I told myself. I had no complaints. I snuggled into into the grass and fell asleep straight away.   
  
Treebeard stared at the odd human child who was sleeping .   
  
" Legolas was right , Little Warrior would suit her better , " commented Merry. Pippin nodded then yawned sleepily. 


	14. War Drums

I awoke the next morning to face the hobbits curled up on the grass and fern too. I looked at both of them very closely. Pippin was pillowing his head on an arm , on his stomach. Merry had at some point after I'd fallen asleep put his cloak over his younger cousin and wrapped an arm around him .   
  
It reminded me how seriously Merry took his role as Pippin's defender , comforter and most of all best friend. There were very few friendships just like this one and they were rare indeed. It was actually hard to imagine Merry without Pippin , or the other way around. You could see how they'd do anything for the other and would die if necessary. And there was something in their eyes , hope in Merry's blue and joy in Pippin's green .   
  
And it hit me that they were the good in Middle Earth the Fellowship was trying to protect. Hey , as far as I could tell from their tales they hadn't done much. But I think the whole Fellowship loved and were extremelly protective of them.   
  
Frodo well , they were his younger cousins. And Sam , because they were Frodo's younger cousins. Gimli , for all his grumbling was always laughing at some tale or recent prank they had pulled. Aragorn - well even though he did reprimand them a lot , I think he really did like having them around. Legolas - probably because he was a lot like them , a bit more serious maybe , but absolutely crazy at some points. I missed the Mirkwood elf too , he was always talking to me even when there were a lot of grumbles about " The girl " ( *cough* Gimli *cough* ).   
  
And Boromir he was always out for us , and always making sure we were alright and being a willing victim for wrestling ( I'd been put into a headlock by Merry tooooo many times ). At least before he..he.. I stopped thinking about it so I wouldn't bawl my eyes out.   
  
I wandered outside into the tree hall. Sunlight was filtering in the tree leaves and everything smelled of cold clean air. I was rosy-cheeked and white skinned in moments. A slight breeze ruffled my short hair.   
  
I sat down on ground and tried doing meditation .   
  
"Ohmmmmmmm ohmmmmmmmm ohmmmmmmm , " I chanted feeling stupid , and giggling.   
  
I heard a slight rustling sound behind me and I cracked an eye open.  
  
"Who disturbs my deep meditation ? " I said mock seriously.  
  
" Hmm hoom, certainly early to be up . "   
  
Treebeard. Oopsies.   
  
"I can never sleep in late but if you want me to go back to bed , I will ," I stammered.  
  
Treebeard made a curious breathy sound like laughing. Guess he wasn't mad. He stalked off somewhere to laugh some more. Which was fine with me. If somebody had to laugh at me , go somewhere else to do it.   
  
Now that I had thought of it , I was kinda tired . There was no way I was sleeping on the bed again. But it was so soft and warm , I thought. I flopped down upon the soft fern and closed my eyes. I drempt of fall walks with my friends in the woods and milkshakes at the diner across the road. Of ' Singing In The Rain ' and climbing trees. I wanted to go home .   
  
I must have been crying in my sleep cause when I woke up my face hurt and it was swollen. Merry and Pippin were sitting up and gazing with sympathy in their eyes. I hate pity.   
  
Somebody pried my hands off my legs and sat me up. Somebody was rubbing my back in an attempt to soothe me.   
  
" Don't cry , you'll make me start again , " Pippin said handing me a hankerchief (probably Merry's). I smiled remembering what I had said to him.   
  
" What's wrong ? " he asked.   
  
" I want to go home ! "   
  
" Where is home Little Maiden ? "   
  
" I don't know ! I don't know how to get back!"   
  
Merry gave me one of those little kid hugs like when they don't want you to leave. Treebeard entered at the most inopportune time.  
He gave one of those treeish stares (hard to describe) and picked all of us up . I clung to the smooth bark- like skin.   
  
We had been walking, er , Treebeard had been walking for a while , when we reached an almost bowl shaped shallow valley. Hard to explain . It had a barrier of seemingly impenetrable evergreen hedge at the rim , but from there on in , everything was grass clad. At the bottom there were 3 silver barked birch trees.   
  
Ents were gathered and more were coming in. Every one was entirely different , shining beeches , saplings , oaks , birches . They had any number of limbs and height and the same deep pooled eyes of Treebeard. When they had all gathered together they spoke in low musical tones. It seemed like they were chanting together falling in rhythm and then booming out their voices. I found it relaxing and leaned against the trunk of Treebeard.   
  
I could see Pippin beginning to fidget. How long had it been since they began? 10 minutes? 15 ? 30? I stifled a yawn and Treebeard was aware of Pippin and me.   
  
"Hmm ha hey , Pippin and Little Maiden! You are a hasty folk I was forgetting ...."  
  
I lost my place in the conversation again , I couldn't help it , Treebeard's voice was so musical . You didn't concentrate on words , you concentrated on the music. This was due to the fact I had been in band for three years. Treebeard put me down and I stretched my legs by walking , but noticing Merry and Pippin were bowing to them , I did as the Romans did . I curtsied. There was a flicker in the Ents' eyes and murmurs of amusement .  
  
I walked on out of the path to the west . Trees surrounded the meeting place , with a mountain in the distance , and little green spot I thought was Rohan.   
  
" What's Isengard like ? " I asked.   
  
" Yes , I wonder where Isengard is ? " said Pippin.   
  
Merry explained it was a ring of rocks with a flat space inside and a pillar of rock in the middle called Orthanc. Didn't sound impressive . Just sounded like some rocks with a big tower in the middle. We went back into the bowl also called a dingle (?) . o_0 I was getting bored. Very bored . There's only so much Zen I could take at one time. We wandered around not really having any purpose and watching the clouds. I lay on the grass .   
  
"That one looks like a rabbit."  
  
"Nuh uh , eagle. See the wings ? "  
  
" No no no , you've got it all wrong! It's a tree , " Merry the perfectionist pointed out.   
  
" Is not . "   
  
"Is too ! "   
  
This went on for quite a while until Treebeard came towards us with another Ent with him. I listened to the music in his voice and once again missed the point of the conversation. All I managed to figure out was that :  
a) A tree picked me up  
b) His name was elvish - Bregalad which means Quickbeam (v. nice in my opinion)  
c) I was hungry  
We all spent the day singing and laughing which was fine with me. I laughed at everything , even if was because someone else was too. We spent the night in his 'ent house' and Bregalad/ Quickbeam told us about the beautiful rowans he loved so much and how they were laid to waste by the hordes of orcs Saruman had sent.   
  
If he had sent that many orcs to destroy trees , how many would he send upon us ? I hoped Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli were alright. I had seen them in battle before , it seemed like there was nothing they couldn't handle. But I had thought that of Boromir and looked what happened to him! On the bright side , he wouldn't have to see the destruction of the world , if it came to that.   
  
I was awakened the next day's afternoon by drums and marching music followed by the Ents' musical voices.   
We come , we come with roll of drum : ta-runda runda runda rom! I had taken the opportunity for a nap which didn't happen.   
  
" Arrrrrrrrrghhm , come back later , " I growled. The drums kept playing and Bregalad snatched me up into his arms and strode toward the voices even before I had the chance to yawn.   
  
" Hm , what ?" I squinted. Oh , army of trees , I thought. Nothing too unusual for Middle Earth. We joined the rest of the Ents and I was still stuck on Bregalad while Merry and Pippin were passed on to Treebeard.   
  
Damn , there went my chance for socialization. I clung to Bregalad's trunk and daydreamed about milkshakes. The scenery changed from thick forest to bare slopes where grey dusk fell. A noise like a ripple of wind went through the group . I craned my neck to look at the army and it seemed like the forest had followed us here. We were drawing near the ridge of Nan Curunir , The Valley of Saruman. Bregalad stopped beside him. "Night lies over Isengard, " said Treebeard. Whoop de doo. 


	15. Hey Reviewers !

Leopard Dance - Yes , maybe so. Maybe those ent draughts ARE spiked.   
She is acting a bit high isn't she ? All that laughing...   
Anyways it's guaranteed she's going to feel hellishly bad when it   
wears off. Thanks for reviewing ! :)   
  
lime green lion - Just thanks for reviewing too :) !  
  
ElfPilot- Thanks for telling me about that little mistake...  
Yes , Aragorn CAN laugh , just not very much. He has that Heir   
of Ilsidur image to uphold. For some reason I decided to make Legolas have black hair. Or raven. Whichever sounds prettier. But hey if he's blond to you so be it. BATHS ARE SACRED !!!   
  
Orange Tropicana - THANKS !   
  
Meggie S - Thanks , and I'm actually glad I made you fall off your chair. Hope you didn't land on wood or laminate flooring though. If so please don't sue me for damages or injur. I only have $20.   
  
That Mad Poet - THANKS ! Remember the drinking song ? Sweet is the pouring rain and stream that falls from hill to plain... LOL * has mental picture of us totally sloshed and singing out of key*   
  
Delirious Unicorn - I agree. Every time you hear Mr. Bloom there speak I nearly melt. * bows and lights incense in front of shrine *   
Knowledgeably is a good word , I like it. I'll put in this story somewhere.   
  
Laicalasse -Thanks ! I read your story and it's good ! Keep writing !   
  
Jo March - Thanks for the encouragement !  
  
Lotr-junkie - Er , thanks , I think.... 


	16. Many Meetings

The next day was not of much interest except for Merry and Pippin nearly drowning themselves in the guard house ( haha I slept outside). A hunched figure rode in on a horse and when he saw the wreckage he looked rather sick, like Sam in a boat. When he saw us he tried to turn his horse around but Treebeard snatched him off with a hand.  
  
" I am Grima , friend and counseller of King Theoden . I was sent with important messages from Theoden to Lord Saruman, " he said.  
  
Lord Saruman is it now? The man blathered on about how he went through deadly peril and blah blah blah. Egotistical freak. I could tell he was lying , the shifty eyes and everything. If the police hooked him up to a lie detector , they'd ask the first question and know he was guilty. Treebeard gave him a good welcome (ahaha) and sent him to swim across the now lake surrounding Orthanc.   
  
" Tell Saruman Little Maiden has arrived !" I yelled after him as he struggled into the water.   
  
"Nasty looking fellow , " Merry commented. I didn't like the look of him either.   
  
Treebeard asked us to find man food (ahaha) for twenty-five. Well , there was that guardroom ..... But who was coming? The three of us staggered off in search of man food for hours , by the time I was finished , I was soaking wet. Pippin and Merry were pleased though with something called pipeweed. I laughed straight for five minutes.   
  
" Hahahahahaha! Pipe ...weed!! Hahahaha!"  
  
Pippin looked at me like I had finally snapped. He pulled a pipe out from under his shirt , stuffed it with "weed" and lit it !  
I knew smoking was bad , so I ranted.   
  
" What are you doing? Your going to get cancer from that crap ! It'll clog your lungs!"   
  
"What are you talking about Little Maiden ? This is the 1417 crop! An excellent year !" Merry railed.  
  
There were some things I'd never understand about hobbits. When they were finished , Merry sat looking out in the distance , Pippin was asleep and I was cloud gazing again.   
  
"Look Merry, that one looks like a horse!"   
  
As if to echoe my words I could hear hoofbeats coming toward us. Figures on horseback rode out of the smoke. Merry stood up and bowed low. I stared in shock at the former disheveled hobbit who now acted like elite society.  
  
"Welcome my lords to Isengard! We are the doorwardens. Meriadoc son of Saradoc is my name , and my companions are the fair Little Maiden , and alas the other, is overcome with weariness is Peregrin son of Paladin , of the house of Took. "   
  
I looked around at the riders who I supposed were Rohirrim from what Merry had told me. Great tall warriors they seemed to me , even for a 21st century girl. Some things never cease to amaze people. I snapped back to reality when Gimli started to yell at us.  
  
" You rascals, you wooly footed and wooly pated truants ! A fine hunt you have lead us!"   
  
Excuse me I am not a hobbit but a human thank you. My gaze and thoughts drifted back to the riders who were starting to shift uneasily under my gaze. Legolas gathered me up and swung me about breaking my train of thought yet again. I was passed to Aragorn , who put me down. Legolas grinned.  
  
" My, my, Little Maiden , you look terrible."   
  
I snorted lightly. " No how-are-you-doing?"   
  
  
After all introductions had been made , which took a while , Theoden ( the king of Rohan!) and Gandalf rode off to see Treebeard. The rest of our band of friends sat down and ate the provisions taken by Pippin from the guardhouse. They filled pipes with that "weed" and sat in silence after a lot of talking I was rather bewildered with. If they die from cancer , it won't be my fault . Aragorn removed a leaf brooch from somewhere inside his cloak and handed it to Pippin.   
  
We talked awhile about escape and Merry and Pippin told the story of what happened after until now. I sat beside them in silence .   
"Little Maiden , tell us what happened to you , " Legolas said. "Your eyes , are..... pained...."   
  
I told them of Boromir's last fight , my anger. I told them of being a 'plaything' and they cringed . I told them of being beaten and near rape. Told them of escape , relief , Ents , war , and pipeweed. When I was finished no one spoke for a long while. " Poor child ." Aragorn mused. Gimli sat lost in thought and Legolas gazed somewhere else , probably to avoid my gaze.   
  
" Does it still pain you ? " Aragorn asked.   
  
" My rib , well yes when I bend over and such."  
  
"Come with me , and remove your shirt, " he instructed.  
  
"What ?! , " I could feel a lump building in the back of my throat.   
  
Legolas shook his head and mouthed the word no to Aragorn .   
I remained seated unable to move.   
  
"Do you want me to do it here in front of everybody? " he asked. I couldn't speak.   
  
In a smooth movement he squatted on the ground and pulled my shirt over my head before I could protest. He started to undo the bandage wrapped tightly around my chest. I screamed and shoved him away.   
  
" Don't TOUCH ME !"   
  
He sat back, a frown on his face. Merry placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.   
  
" Leave her be , Strider. "   
  
I squirmed away closer to Pippin who looked upset by all this. His green eyes looked at me questioningly.   
  
  
Legolas kneeled and I collapsed into his arms. I began to cry with shame and anger and for Boromir. Especially for Boromir. Any words I might have possibly garbled out were lost in my gasping sobs. He rubbed my back soothingly and was saying something in Elvish to me. Hell , I couldn't understand it but it made me relax. My hiccups stopped and I calmed enough to think somewhat coherently. Everyone's eyes were fastened upon me . I knew they would never hurt me , they were like a bunch of uncles. Erm , warrior uncles. Except Merry and Pippin of course , they were more the younger sibling types.   
  
"Little Maiden , on my word as an elf of Mirkwood , I swear no harm will come to you. Aragorn needs to help you or else your lungs may be damaged , and I do not think Little Warrior would appreciate it , with all that fighting. "   
  
I nodded and he wiped the remaining tears off my face. He gave a gentle smile and helped me up.   
  
I followed Aragorn behind a rather tall rock that shielded us from view.   
  
" I'm going to make this as painless as possible , when I pull the rib back in place, scream as loud as you can." I nodded.  
  
Aragorn removed the bandage to reveal a big purple splotch straight across my rib cage. He didn't waste any time though. He seemed to reach into my lungs and pull the broken bone out. Impossible it seemed but I screamed just the same.   
  
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! "   
  
Obviously the Fellowship thought something was wrong and they all came running. Which resulted in me screaming again.   
  
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! You pervs ! I'm alright ! Just shoo ! Go away! "   
  
I sat with my arms over my chest.   
  
" That was....humiliating. So can I have my shirt back now? I'm freezing ! "   
  
Aragorn looked like he was about to laugh but didn't. He coughed nervously and handed the shirt back to me.   
  
" Erm , Aragorn , could you erm , go away ? "   
  
The colour rose in Aragorn's face . I didn't know Rangers could blush. He left and I pulled the shirt on , running my fingers through whatever short hair I had left. The Fellowship looked up nervously , and shifted uncomfortably. I resigned myself from crying ever again. I felt pitiful !   
  
" Well , it's nothing you probably haven't seen before. Just a broken rib."   
  
Pippin grinned. " Yes, Little Maiden, there's nothing we haven't seen."   
  
I hit him upside the head. Perv , I thought to myself. The Fellowship laughed and Pippin sulked. 


	17. The Voice of Saruman

Aragorn wanted to see Isengard and that was fine with me. We gazed upon the rock of Orthanc and I nearly fell into a slime covered pool which populated most of the gross land around me .   
  
I spotted Theoden , Gandalf and the riders coming towards us anyways. The Fellowship went to meet them but I stayed behind at the steps. " Get away from the door , go sit by Merry and Pippin." Gandalf ordered. That was nice , after all I'd been through. I stuck out my tongue and went to sit at the base of the stairs.   
  
Much I didn't want to listen to , but a smooth almost silky voice invaded my ears. It seemed to penetrate my thoughts   
  
* You should have been mine* .   
  
I tried to block it out.   
  
* I know where you come from , what would you give to go back?*   
  
Everything or almost save for my friends I thought.   
  
* If you would just take my hand , I will send you back*   
  
No , nonononono. But I was already up and climbing the stairs to the ominous door. Everyone else seemed to be in a dream , even Gandalf had a dazed expression on his face. Nononononono I won't go in there. No one made a move to stop my unwilling body. I was pushing the door open , stepping inside the cool blackness into peril.   
  
* Good , good *   
  
A hand yanked me the rest of the way inside. I was snapped out of the spell and I had only myself to blame for falling to his will. I was staring into the face of the supposed Grima , who promptly flung me to the floor. I scrambled up , running for the door across from me.   
  
* Foolish child , did you think you could stop me? *   
  
A globe of black glass was across from me in the opposing room. I made a dash for it and pulled the globe off its stand.   
  
* Give it child*   
  
NO , I thought back, Is it something you want ?   
  
* Give it*   
  
And the smooth voice turned nasty. A figure in white blocked the door and I crashed into him. He grabbed my shoulders, digging nails into me . I twisted away still holding onto the globe of dark crystal. For a distraction , I slammed it into Grima's head. Hahaha. Blood was now splattered on it.Ew. Anyways , Saruman was after me and boy, was he fast for an old dude. I undid the bolt and ran out into the half sunshine throwing the crystal back over my shoulder at him.   
  
The Fellowship and co. were immediately aware of what was going on.   
  
Gandalf gave Saruman a good tongue lashing and Theoden was peeved. Gandalf broke his staff which sounded really dirty in my mind . Saruman nanced inside like the molester he was . Gandalf grumbled a few words about   
  
" Binding , dragging , near ravaging of a child ."   
  
Something was thrown out after us , nearly hitting Gandalf in the head. It was the globe of crystal and it was rolling away to one of the pools. Pippin ran after it and picked it up , only to have it pulled away by Gandalf.  
  
" I'll take that , my lad." No thank you at all. Honestly , wizards have no manners.   
  
We walked back to the entrance of the gate, and Ents were gathered there as well. Treebeard said his goodbyes to Merry and Pippin , very touching. Big tree , little people. No goodbye for me , Ents have no manners either.   
  
We kicked around a bit longer but around sunset we had to leave. I had no horse and none of the riders would share with me. Stupid gits. They had an extra horse with them , I know it sounds funny but it's true. I suppose they picked this one especially for its mean temper and spitefulness. I couldn't get on a horse even if my life depended on it. Then the horrid beast kicked me! The riders were snickering softly and I bit my tongue to keep from saying something deregatory. Legolas gave me a foot up and I was on the horse .   
  
The only problem was the horse wouldn't move.   
  
" Giddyup."   
  
" Hi-ho Silver?" I sighed. This was not a good day , broken rib , Saruman , now a stupid horse.   
  
One of the riders leaned over and said, " Ride." The horse started off at a canter. I resigned from trying to understand the equinine kind. 


	18. The Palantir

We had been riding for a while , my horse just seemed to follow the others. My legs hurt worse than rock climbing with a safety strap digging into your butt. The moon was out, and I was just about to fall asleep on the horse when Gandalf called a halt. Thank God. After about a mile riding out of the road , we came to a dale. It took a while to make camp on the bracken and heather. I removed myself to where the hobbits were sitting down, near a corner of the thorn-bush-fenced-in dale.   
  
I was tired but I wanted to talk , Pippin seemed restless for some reason. Merry asked if he was sleeping on a ant-hill .  
  
Pippin replied , " No , but I'm not comfortable. I wonder how long it is been since I slept in a bed?"  
  
"I feel your pain , my back hurts too , and my legs , actually , everything."  
  
" First time riding Little Maiden?" Merry laughed. I glared and pursued my task of finding Orion in the sky. They went on to talk about Gandalf and the affairs of wizards and the globe of dark crystal.  
  
" Little Maiden , did you see anything? What was it? " Pippin asked.  
  
I shrugged and buried my head in my arms. Merry was telling off Pippin , and to go to sleep , which I assume he has done for years.   
  
"I must agree with Merry for once , go to sleep , if something is wrong get me up. I sleep lightly anyways." I said , my voice muffled.   
  
I turned onto my stomach and tried to sleep but something stopped me. I could still hear Pippin moving around , then get up. He was probably just going to walk around but something told me it wasn' t that. I closed my eyes and slept , at least for a few moments.   
  
A strangled , piercing cry filled the air. Pippin. I lept up and looked frantically between the bestirred riders. Gandalf was heading towards a hill , and I followed . Where Gandalf was, there was something wrong. Pippin was lying on his back , unmoving and with unseeing eyes. As far as I could tell , he was dead. I picked up the globe of crystal lying nearby and made as if to throw the bloody thing away.   
  
Aragorn grabbed my arm and took it away .   
  
" It killed him ! What do you want it for ? " I screamed.   
  
Suddenly Pippin sat up speaking in a toneless voice not his own.   
  
"It is not for you Saruman! I will send for it at once.Do you understand? Just say that!"   
  
Was he possessed? Gandalf spoke to him , and he relaxed. He clung to Gandalf. Something awful must have happened. He had looked in the globe and seen bad things, horrible things he didn't wish to speak of. But Gandalf made him. And then lectured.  
I've always hated lectures , but this one ended quickly fortunately for Pippin.   
  
Gandalf carried him back to where until currently , we had been sleeping. Merry looked very mad and worried at the same time. And who wouldn't be? Pippin had nearly given us away to Sauron. When they both had calmed down a bit , I figured it was my turn to rant.   
  
" You stupid idiot! I thought you were dead!" I hissed shaking him by the shoulders.   
  
"S..ss..sorry , " he stammered.   
  
" You are...a complete...MORON!!!"   
  
With that out of my system , I proceeded to hug him.  
  
"Um Little Maiden ?"  
  
"Uh huh? "  
  
" I can't breathe."   
  
" Oh."   
  
I lay back on my cloak and stared off into space about nothing really. A black shadow swooped over head blocking out the moon.  
  
A Nazgul. Again. As long as it didn't kill us , so what? Gandalf came striding over and picked Pippin up in his arms.   
  
"You shall come with me this time. Little Maiden, follow."   
  
I followed them to the horse and Gandalf lept up offering a hand to get me up. I gladly took it because I still hadn't mastered the art of jumping on horses. Aragorn handed Pippin to him and the horse galloped away.  
  
" Hey it's a horse built for three."  
  
Gandalf gave me an odd look and raised his eyebrows.We rode into the night the ground rolling away beneath the horse's hoofs. 


	19. The White Tower

The stars wheeled away above. Didn't know horses could go so fast. I was trying to tune out Gandalf and Pippin's persistent questions. I knew the stone was a palatiri , a looking stone to see what was happening in other reaches of the kingdom. Two were used for evil purposes and the others lost and forgotten.   
  
We were approaching the Deeping Coomb and Glittering Caves which sounded pretty. But we didn't stop , we were riding to Minas Tirith , city of man , before dawn. Was there a city of women too? All the jostling of the horse steadied to a quick run. It seemed like it was going faster and faster. Pippin had already fallen asleep , thank goodness. I watched the ground disappear , and I figured it was my turn to ask questions.   
  
"Gandalf? Why am coming along?"   
  
" That is not for some ears to hear, " he answered cryptically.   
  
Stupid git. Then I remembered Pippin was with us and I guess when he said it wasn't for some ears to hear , he meant him. Now I'd never know. Stupid mini-git. I sighed and fell asleep.   
  
When I woke , it was still night. Blazing fire kindled in the sky , lighting up the empty blackness. War fires , the enemy was coming. Gandalf cried some words to his horse and it picked up speed again. I thought I was going to be sick. Dawn rose , afternoon came , night appeared and we were still riding . Something strange about that horse. Twilight appeared through the mist and we stopped in front of a great stone wall. Tall men in cloaks came to meet us. I guess we were in Minas Tirith. Torches gave a dull light through the fog.   
  
" Yea , truly we know you Mithrandir," said one of the men. Well what was the problem then?   
  
" What is he? A dwarf out of the mountains in the north? And the girl , the last of the wains are leaving. Why is she here and who is she ? " he questioned.   
  
" He is one of the Pheriannath, - Peregrin. And the girl is Little Maiden , both have been through many perils than even you Ingold."  
  
Ha , Gandalf would show him. We rode onto a wide land before the city called the Pelennor. We passed towns and orchards and tilled fields. A very well kept land indeed. The light grew and afternoon was approaching.   
  
A massive grey shape appeared in front , Minas Tirith. It had been built with seven walls inside , to divide the city. A tower soared above in a flowing shape of white. We entered , and recieved many strange stares from the people. Many empty houses we passed , no longer filled with voices of laughter. It was very sad to see.  
  
After picking our way through the milling city , we reached the seventh gate. The guards were robed in black with a silver tree emblazoned on the chest with winged helmets. I laughed , they looked like Asterix from the old Saturday morning cartoons. Gandalf glared. I shut up.   
  
It seems that they had already heard of our coming , for they let us through with no questions. There was a white paved court , and a fountain splashed happily in its patch of green. Gandalf dismouted and I jumped off hurting my ankle in the process. " Ow **** ! " I swore. I limped over and put Pippin on the ground as he was quite short, you know.   
  
We passed through the giant doors at the base of the white tower into a long hall of echoeing shadows.   
  
" Hellooooooooo , " I said.   
  
" Helloooooooooooooooooooooo, " it echoed back.   
  
Gandalf gave me one of his patented glares. Halting in front of tall door of polished metal , Gandalf gave us a kind of a pep talk. Ok , nothing about Frodo , something about Boromir and be polite(which wasn't a problem for me).  
  
The door opened , seemingly by no one at all. Ghosts , I thought. I peered into the great hall which was lit by many deep windows and had pillars made of black marble. I tried to see the figures and shapes carved at the top but it was impossible to determine what they were. At the end was a carved dais with a high throne and the silver tree carved behind it. At the foot of the dais there was a throne made of the same stuff as the pillars. Sitting , was an old man intently gazing down. In his hand was a white rod with a golden rod at the end. He did not look up . We were standing three paces back from the footstool. My heart was pounding , and my hands were sweaty. The man looked up , he had a ivory skin and prominent bones giving an impression of coldness and majesty.   
  
I shrank back against Gandalf who nudged me forward.   
  
"Hail , Lord and Steward of Minas Tirith , Denethor son of Ecthelion! I am come with counsel and tidings in this dark hour."   
  
Lord and Steward??! Gandalf didn't tell me about any Lord and Steward !   
  
The man answered in a cold voice telling us of the supposed doom of Gondor. Well there was an optimist. He went on to insult Pippin ( poor guy) and to regret sending Boromir instead of Faramir (his brother). I was having a hard time keeping insults in. Denethor held up Boromir's horn , cut in half. I gasped and was silenced by Gandalf glaring at me.   
  
"I see you knew him , girl." Denethor said.   
  
Pippin went on to explain (nervously I might add) of Boromir's valiant fight and my anger. Our debt to him even though he failed to save us. Pippin's voice grew stronger and seemed more of a knight's voice than of a scared hobbit. Flicking aside the cloak, he laid his sword at Denethor's feet. A small gleam of a smile appeared over the Steward's features.   
  
Pippin was being sworn in as a soldier of Gondor ! I wanted to do the same but it probably wouldn't be the same , and besides I noticed the guard was entirely male. Denethor's first order was to tell everything about Boromir. He ordered servants to bring in a chair and two stools , a tray with wine and white cakes.   
  
I perched delicately on a stool while Pippin did his best to explain what had happened without mentioning the quest. When Denenthor was finished freaking Pippin out , he started on me.   
  
" What is your name ? "   
  
" Little Maiden , lord. Your valiant son , Boromir , named me that."   
  
" Did he ? What is your real name?"   
  
" Little Maiden."   
  
" What were you doing with them? "   
  
" Doing um .. , " I panicked , " LAUNDRY!"   
  
" Laundry ?" he asked , raising an eyebrow. I had the uncomfortable feeling he could read my thoughts.   
  
" Then why are you wearing my son's shirt?"   
  
I was quiet and didn't say any more. " Well? Speak up girl."   
  
"He gave it to me."  
  
"Why ?"  
  
" Because."  
  
"Why ? " his voice grew louder.  
  
"Because."   
  
" WHY YOU FOOLISH GIRL? " he boomed. I knew where Boromir got his temper from and it was definetly not on his mother's side.   
  
" No need to shout , " I said pertly, as if scold a child. Ha. Denethor's eyes were set afire. Pippin's green eyes seemed to say: Tell him Little Maiden ! Tell him !   
  
I told him but left out all bits about Frodo. Denethor roared with laughter to my suprise.  
  
" One of the best nonsense stories , I've ever heard! " he laughed. Whoa. Psycho.........  
  
" Mithrandir , leave the girl here when you leave. In these dark days I have need of entertainment . "   
  
Gandalf frowned and spoke more words to Denethor concerning Pippin. Great Gandalf , leave me here with a schitzo.   
  
A guide led them out and just before the door closed Pippin poked his head in , grinned and waved. I laughed. Turning back to Denethor , I realized his cold smile was replaced by a frown. I swallowed deeply and my heart started going at the speed of rabbit's again.   
  
" Now , girl , you will not be in my hall wearing that."   
  
I glared , what was wrong with what I was wearing? He called in servants again.  
  
" Take Little Maiden to be outfitted in , ah , something more suitable." 


	20. Dears

I was guided from the sinister hall down into one of the lower circles of the city , nearly being run down by a couple of horses. We entered the last gate and turned into what was called Rath Celerdain , the Lampwright's street. After dodging another few carts and nearly crashing into a vegetable seller's booth , I was directed into a small shop. Immediatly I was swamped by old ladies who smelled of roses and mothballs.   
  
"Oh , what a dear ! " they chorused.   
  
I had to get out of there. Fast. I ran for the door but one of them stopped me. I could've screamed. Escorted to the back and seated behind a screen , they nearly drowned me in puffy fabric.   
  
" Red ? Or maybe yellow for this one . No blue. Black is too serious for her."   
  
" Red , please. " I said trying not to push them all away.   
  
" Oh , and so polite too ! What a dear !"  
  
After being poked and prodded to fit a dress , it was ready. The harpies certainly knew their trade well.   
The dress was scarlet red , with long trailing sleeves , straight shoulders and a bit of it trailing behind.   
  
" Oh what a dear !" they squealed.   
  
Still dazed I was hauled to a washtub. Uh-oh. Someone scrubbed me till my skin hurt and another kept yanking my hair back into the water which was now getting murky with dirt.   
  
I got out and was enveloped in fluffly towels while another was wrapped around my short hair. Pushed to sit beside a fire that was roaring was fine with me. Zen enveloped me until one of the ladies grabbed my hair back with a brush and ripped out half my scalp with it . I whimpered. My hair settled finely on my ears while the dress was pulled over my head again. Well , that wasn't so bad, I thought.  
  
Until I saw it. The Box. I squirmed and was snatched back.   
  
" Nooooooo , not the makeup !" I screeched.   
  
" Nonsense dear , it'll be fine."   
  
An hour later , I looked like Raggedy Ann . I blended in the blush and brushed some of the white powder off. The only thing I liked was the raspberry flavoured lip tint. A flower crown made of roses was put on my head , and I was free to go.   
  
I ran out the door , smelling of soap. I got a bit lost in the street and decided to stop in the next building to ask for directions . Which happened to be a inn or something. A group of boys were playing in front kicking up dust. I brushed around them careful not to get my dress dirty. I felt as Little Maiden-ish as possible. On second thought , I decided to ask directions from the kids. I mean they lived in Minas Tirith. I tapped one of the bigger ones on the shoulder.  
  
" Um , excuse me , but I'm really lost and I need to get back to the white tower and , "   
  
" Little Maiden ?! "   
  
" Pippin ?! Jeez , I didn't recognize you !"   
  
He laughed. " They call me Ernil i Pheriannath , meaning Prince of the Halflings. And you Little Maiden , you look every bit your name ! "   
  
"You got out of the tower alive? So what's been happening? "   
  
Pippin explained about Beregond , the butteries , his room , Shadowfax, and Bergil (who was standing next to him).   
  
" Hello , Bergil , " I waved. Bergil blushed.   
  
We decided (me , Pippin and Bergil) that it would be a capital idea to explore the city. The rest of the day sped past , and news came of armies coming through. Running down to the great gate we saw knights in armour come in. Forlong of Lossarnach , the men of Ringlo Vale , Duinhir and his sons Duilin and Derufin. Villagers , fishermen , Hirluin the Fair , and Imrahil - Prince of Dol Amroth. Less than three thousand had entered.   
  
Dusk had arrived , ashen grey as if to herald the battle that was to take place. The trumpet sounded for the closing of the gate.   
Bergil directed me back to the white tower , my hair thankfully still intact. I ran at a sprint and no one stopped me from entering the hall. There was no one there.   
  
" Hello ? " I called.   
  
I sighed , I could only wait. Sitting on the steps of the dais , I ran over what had happened. A while later a figure stepped in.   
  
"Stand up , and let me look at you." Denethor. I stood up and twirled around.   
  
" Little Maiden , I can see why Boromir chose that name , " he sighed.   
  
" If you don't mind , lord , I'm awfully hungry and I . .."   
  
" Yes , yes , Gareth will direct you to the kitchens."   
  
" Goodnight , and thanks."   
  
" Dark night, " he mused.   
  
And with that to think on I was led to the kitchens. The smell of cooking made my stomach rumble. I sat down at one of the trestle tables and waited.  
  
" Why hello , dearie !"   
  
Oh no , not another dear person. An middle aged chef with a balding head stood before me.   
  
" What's your name? " I wasn't a three year old.  
  
" Little Maiden."   
  
" Well Little Maiden , what d' ye be wanting?" He smiled . I wouldn't deny the guy was nice.  
  
" I'm hungry."   
  
" Well if ye weren't , you wouldn't be in the kitchen would ye?" I nodded.   
  
" Busy night , with all those fancy lords upstairs , would ye like to sample what they're havin' ? "   
  
I grinned , knowing I'd be the first to test it. A huge platter was laid in front of me , loaded with vegetables and some bird thing with parsley on top. A creamy looking sauce was laid over top of it. Sure I didn't know what it was , but it looked real good. I ate until I swore I couldn't eat again.   
  
"Ye sure that's all ye be wanting ?"   
  
I groaned . " How bout dessert? "   
  
Dessert , I had to cave to dessert. I perked up as whipped cream covered with mounds of what looked like chocolate was laid in front of me. I hadn't had anything sweet in God knows how long. The man rushed about the kitchen , pulling things off the giant stove and clanging dishes in the bathtub sized sink. His face became redder and redder with the heat , and from yelling at the waiters not to drop anything. The heat was making me sleepy , like cats in front of a fireplace. I fell asleep with my head in my arms , and was borne away to an alcove on the north side of the kitchen. 


	21. Growing Shadows

I was roused by the cook in the early hours of the morning it seemed. Dawn hadn't come yet and as the he explained wouldn't .  
I was confused , why? Dragging myself from the warm sheets, I rubbed my eyes and straightened my dress. The flower crown was hanging on a hook which I pulled on. A glass of milk and pancakes were set before me. The man was already puttering about the kitchen. I dove into the pancakes , I hadn't eaten that well for days. Polishing off the glass of milk , I turned to ask the man a question.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"Jerome , but everyone round here calls me Jerry."  
  
" Jerry , why am I awake so early ?"  
  
"Lord Denethor wants to see you in the hall."   
  
With that Jerry shooed me away and directed me to Denethor.   
  
Denethor was sitting almost exactly like he had when I had left him. You could tell by his eyes he was in a nasty mood. Pippin came through the great doors with Gandalf. Pippin again looked nervous and cleared his throat.  
  
" What would you do in my service ?"   
  
"I thought , sir , that you would tell me my duties."  
  
Denethor went on to explain of his esquire asking leave , and the duties of one , including singing (!). Pippin was almost asked to sing , a humiliating experiance for anyone , but was not. I was getting fidgety and my feet hurt. The Steward bade Pippin to be outfitted in the uniform of the guard. And I was ordered out by him with nothing to do.   
  
I sat in one of the deep windows looking down at the city . Soldiers were running about and once I thought I saw a child like figure dart among them. I played Truth or Dare with myself I was so bored. I had flashed the city twice and told what colour of underwear I had. Suddenly , a long screeching cry filled my ears. Shivering, I ran from the hall to seek others. I didn't want to be alone with a Nazgul about in the air. Entering the courtyard I sprinted to the closest guard tower. Skidding straight into a random guard.  
  
"S..ss..sorry. N...nnn..Nazgul."  
  
The man nodded and stepped aside to reveal my hobbit friend cowering in horror. Four more of the horrid demons swooped overhead. I sucked up my courage and looked over the wall. A group of men were running towards the gate , but one went back for the horses. One of the Nazgul was stooping over him , and it seemed like he was lost. At that moment a flash of white came riding out and the black shadow was aware of him. Good old Gandalf . A shot of white chased the Nazgul off. They came towards the city and the shout of Mithrandir and Faramir went up.  
  
Hurrying toward the gate with Pippin still shaking , I wondered if it was the same Faramir Denethor had talked about. A crowd pressed forward than flattened us against a wall as Faramir passed through. It seemed like Boromir had been reincarnated and was staring me in the face . I stifled a cry and Pippin took up the call. Faramir's head turned to look for the strange voice in the mob.   
  
" Whence came you? A halfling and in the livery of the Tower ! Whence........?"   
  
He looked rather confused , but Gandalf explained who we were and had us come with him (again *sigh*). We went back to the tower for the billionith time and were seated before Denethor (again). Once Faramir had eaten , he gave us news of Frodo and Sam who were progressing through Ithilien at the time. Gandalf seemed distressed that they were heading towards a place called Morgul Vale and Cirith Ungol. Sure they were ugly names but that was no reason to get upset.  
  
Tension was building between Faramir and Denethor , and mounting. It was obvious to anybody they did not get along. The anger reached its peak with:  
  
"Do you wish then , our places had been exchanged?" Faramir asked.   
  
"Yes , I wish that indeed. " Denethor stated. Ouch. Unexplained rage built in my chest until it exploded.   
  
" You can't even be happy with the one son you are blessed enough to have left !" My voice rang through the hall . Silence fell over everybody and I blushed.   
  
" Remember , girl , that it is not your place to say. I bid you leave this room and go to the kitchens until I send for you."  
  
I stormed out , throwing open the doors in the process. My face flushed and my hair going everywhere , I entered the kitchen and plunked myself down at the table. Jerry was immediatly aware of me.   
  
" Why , what's got yer fur rubbed the wrong way?"   
  
" Denethor , stupid git , doesn't even show a bit of concern for his son who nearly died. Can't love the last thing left to him. "  
  
"Well that 's a bit harsh eh Little Maiden? E' loves 'im , just hides it. "   
  
I growled. Jerry laughed.  
  
" Let's make ye some tea that hasn't any spoilt milk in it."   
  
Tea , people and their tea. A steaming cup was put in front of me and I sipped it.   
  
" Lil' Maiden, what brings ye with all these strange folk?"   
  
I decided to tell him , but I knew he wouldn't believe what had happened. Jerry nodded.  
  
" Tis a good story an'no mistake . But it don't ring true , no offense."   
  
I sighed and shrugged. The dim light faded in the kitchen and helped Jerry with desserts until candles had to be lit. Having eaten supper and 'sampling' the main course , I stumbled over to the alcove and crawled into bed. Listening to the clatter of plates and yelling , I fell asleep. 


End file.
